Bedouin Coffee and other Rituals

Visitors always enjoy meeting local people and in the Jordanian desert, the feeling is mutual. The Bedouin tribes who make up almost the whole population outside of the cities have a cultural compulsion of generosity to strangers. The Koran requires it and they are proud of their custom of hospitality. Often isolated in their tents and remote villages, they also enjoy meeting and hearing the views of foreigners. Canadians are well liked because of our perceived neutrality in the Israel-Palestine conflict. The children may enjoy practicing their English. During the four years that my wife and I worked in Jordan, upon seeing our red and white maple leaf bag tags, people often called to us, “Hey, Canadi!” It is well, however, to be aware of local customs, one of which is the coffee ritual.
The ritual is performed at every formal meeting, for example, with government officials, and reflects the tradition of the Bedu, as they call themselves (“Bedouin” is a French corruption): “people of the desert.”
Almost every Bedu family has a least a few sheep and some have hundreds. They still measure wealth in camels. About 60% are semi-nomadic in that, although they have a home in one of the many villages that dot the desert, they spend part of the year living in tents and roaming in search of pasture. Between 5% and 10% are completely nomadic, having no permanent home.
Although most tourists only meet Bedu in places like Wadi Rum and Petra, and pay for the privilege, you can walk up to a tent anywhere and usually be well received, as long as someone in your group speaks enough Arabic to say “As-salaam halaycum,” (Peace be upon you) and explain that you just want to say hello. Then you will most likely be invited inside.
Every Bedu tent has two sections: a public area where the men greet visitors and a private area for the women. Visitors of both genders go into the public part. Do not ever go or even look into the women’s section unless invited, and a male stranger will never be invited. Outside the tent, if you chance to meet a woman, she will usually avoid eye contact and you should too.
Inside are usually four long, narrow kilims arranged in a square. The women weave the kilims of goat or sheep wool in traditional patterns, and they are treasured. Remove your shoes before stepping onto the kilim. There will be, or your host will quickly bring, pillows for you to recline against as you sit or half recline on the carpet. Then begins the coffee ritual.
A son of the tent’s owner—usually the youngest who is old enough to complete the task competently—brings an urn of coffee and a single, small cup without a handle. He goes to the eldest male guest, offers the cup, fills it with coffee, and then stands there expectantly. Take it with your right hand and never touch it with your left. Arab coffee is thinner than the Turkish coffee that you get in the cities, and usually flavoured with spices such as cardamom and sumac, or desert herbs. As it is a real treat, and valuable, you should act appropriately grateful. Do not set the cup down or dally with it. Drink it quickly and give the empty cup back to the lad with a side-to-side tipping motion, as if demonstrating that the cup is empty. This indicates that you have had enough. If you have failed to make the tipping motion, he offers to refill it. Decline. You may say “shukran,” thank you. He will then take the same cup to the next visitor, and so all around the tent until everyone has sipped.
After the coffee ritual, the lad brings sweetened tea, often flavoured with mint or herbs of the desert, and glasses for everyone. There is no ritual with the tea; it is simply refreshment, but there are customs to observe. The lad pours everyone a glass and sets the tea kettle on the sand in the middle of the square formed by the four kilims. On the sand is also where you place your glass when you want to set it down. This protects the kilim in case of a spill. Water for washing is in short supply in the desert. Do not drink your tea too quickly, as it will keep the lad jumping up to refill your glass. Taking a second or even third glass, though, is no affront.
Your host may ask you to stay for a meal. Decline. If he offers a second time and appears to insist, decline. If he offers a third time, and if your meeting has been especially friendly and fulfilling, you may accept. But remember this: if you accept his hospitality once, it means nothing because his religion and culture require him to offer it. If you accept his hospitality twice, it means you have become friends and there may be obligations. He may, for example, expect you to help his son or daughter get into university in Canada. If you accept a third time, it means you are willing to die defending his family and property from attackers. Later I'll post some photos at Picasa.